Turning 30 is already a jump, society expectations and all that;
Turning 30 in lockdown chasing refunds for the dreamy trip to visit your family you were supposed to be on for your birthday, Disneyland, sea view spa trip… (sounded dreamy you say?.. tell me about it) the first two weeks back home since 2017 that I spent the entire month of January planning before all that and was looking forward as you were studying non stop for the first 3 months of the year..
all that … while being stuck at home and wondering if after Covid I will even have a job at all and wondering if everything you had planned for this year will even happen.
Yeah that’s a trip in itself I am not going to lie. needless to say, not that dreamy anymore.
Yet in 2020, putting the saltiness of being stuck home for the major part of the year aside – (while being majorly grateful that I was able to stay safe at home don’t get me wrong, I know some people had it worse than me) 2020 served me a slice of humble pie. All these things I took for granted, are not anymore. Even being able to visit my family in France while living in the Uk, used to be something so trivial, an easyJet plane ticket away, and look at me now. Never taking that for granted ANYMORE.
Turning 30 made me more aware of things around me. Or is it the Lockdown, I do not know… People want things to go back to normal, but I don’t think I could ever spend £60 in a face cream anymore without having second thoughts, even if I can afford it, but do I really want to? Because my new normal is being aware that my lifestyle can shift at any minute, therefore some spendings are just not worth it maybe it will fade away after some time. Most Probably not.
What I learnt in 2020 so far, is that you can make your pasta at home when the shelves of the supermarket are empty, you can make your own bucket hat when Primark is shut and it is not even a big deal. You may cancel that trip you had planned for month and not go back home for a year, maybe relying on a movie to cure your homesickness one in a while but this is not a big deal.
Things you are scared about are probably not so much of a big deal and even if you think you cannot do something, trust me you can if you have to. That is something I have learnt this year more than before, that thing that you are scared about, it is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. And once you ignore the scary part of it, you will be just fine achieving the goals that once used to look unreachable.
Turning 30 also means that I got a reality check, yes we grow up thinking our parents know everything, they know because they are adults… right, guess what… They probably are just like you trying to figure things out, just a few years ahead. And the day I understood that, you cannot know everything, I understood that my imposter syndrome was real, but useless. We are all living, learning and evolving, one day at a time.
the first half of 2020 for me was a slap in the face, a wake up call or is it just turning 30. Not sure which one but I will remember it.