A note that doesn’t talk beauty, a make-up discovery or an MonthlyTreat post. A note that is more personal than my travel post or instagram catch-up. A note on extreme anxiety.
Anxiety is like a friend that does not want your good. Someone that is always with you more so when you are not feeling at your best to make you feel worst. It does not happen often but the other day I had a fight with my superior; instead of standing steel and making my point to him. I just started crying like a school girl, and had difficulties to breath – Oh hey panic attack, here you go again – these difficulties to breath carried on for a good couple of hours that days. This day it felt like a I was in a room with 100 000 people and I could not move nor make sense in my speech. On top of that my boss told me something along the line of “you should cry only when someone dies” – I wish I had the choice as of when anxiety was knocking my door, life would be heaven.
I did not always had anxiety attacks, it started after a rather traumatic event, since then it comes and goes, when I am in a crowed market or being scared for something to happen or even when I am feeling emotional.
I did not blog this week, strange thing knowing that all the subject of my blogposts are set until the end of august. It is not strange I am just not feeling my best. Reading all of these books about the secret, the law of attraction and other positive vibes book, it just looks so easy to overcome everything and be successful, not complaining about where I am at in my life at all, I am just feeling like it is extra hard for me to breath and know where it is at.
That being said, Anxiety is seen on the internet as a trendy topics, famous bloggers/vloggers seems to have all been through it. I am not writing this post for attention, I am writing for awareness. In fact, Anxiety is what prevent me from doing the cool things I should be doing at my age or being the best talkative/assertive persone I can be. People will not understaind until they have been through it how penalizing and frustrating anxiety can be. Depending on the periods, on the moods, and keeping smiling until You mean it is not always that easy. I wish it was.
I started Meditating in Yoga Class when I was at Uni, and carried on with the Headspace App after that, it helped me a lot in rationalizing my behavior, being aware as of when anxiety is taking the control of me. Being aware is the first step, controlling it is the next one.
on that positive note, next time my post will be more light-hearted and probably more interesting to those you are here for beauty and travel posts.
Until next one,